Just wanted to mention this sad anniversary. Four years ago yesterday was when Jackson got sick from his vaccine reaction. It seems like a million years ago and at the same time it seems like it was just yesterday. Our lives are so different now. Sometimes I try to imagine what we would all be doing now if none of this ever happened. But not too often, it's just too sad to think of all the things Jackson is missing out on and all the things Lee and I are missing out on.
I will never hear my son say "I love you". He will never be able to go run and play with the other kids in the neighborhood or have his first kiss or have kids of his own. Lee will never get to teach him how to ride a bike or drive a car...and on and on.
I doubt he even remembers what it was like to be able to walk and talk and dance and eat. He has lived most of his life this way. I often remember back to this one day shortly before he got sick. I picked him up from daycare and then we went to a little playground near our house. It was a cold and cloudy fall day. No one else was out in the park, it was just me and my little boy. It was so cold that day and his nose was running all over his face. I remember thinking "it's crazy to be out here, why am I doing this?" But he was running and playing and having a good time. I'm really glad that we had that time together even though it didn't really make sense at the time.
